‘How bright are the British?’ the Observer asked on 17 September 1989, turning quizmaster to ask the nation a set of ‘easy’ general knowledge questions, then reporting back on the results, sliced and diced for demographics.
The questions spanned basic arithmetic, culture, geography, history and more. Although none would trouble a University Challenge team, seven of the 2,275 adults who took part got all of them wrong. Only 30 managed a perfect 100%. Scotland was the worst-performing region. North London beat south London and the Greens did better than voters for other parties. Private and state school classes of 12-year-olds pitted against each other resulted in a ‘narrow win’ for private. Women fared worse than men (several prominent female academics declined to take the test), possibly because: ‘They are too busy holding down a job, mothering, wifeing and doing the housework to acquire general knowledge.’
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The magazine tried to persuade a selection of celebrities to give it a go, offering £10 to charity for each right answer, but many (including Vinnie Jones, Peter Stringfellow and Michael Grade) proved elusive.
Lady Antonia Fraser struggled with EC member states and the boiling point of water (‘I haven’t the foggiest. Is it really? Gosh.’) Kingsley Amis was scandalised at the results (‘His reaction… was somewhere between “devastated”, “appalled” and “unforgivable’”, especially the 57% who didn’t know who painted the Mona Lisa. He slipped up himself on ‘Who lives in Albert Square?’, but declared that ‘no disgrace’. Ken Livingstone couldn’t manage 7×6 – ‘Oh, God, I can’t remember, I do everything with a calculator’ – but was untroubled. ‘I failed every exam I sat at school and it hasn’t done any harm to me in life.’
The question that defeated most participants – celebrity and civilian – was ‘Who was the father of Cain and Abel?’ which only 23% answered correctly. It tripped up the then-chancellor of Oxford University, Roy Jenkins, radio quiz host Robert Robinson, the leader of the Inner London Education Authority and even briefly stumped Jeffrey Archer, author of… Kane and Abel.