What Car Has The Goofiest Face?

Most cars aren’t modeled after human faces, yet some still end up looking like they have expressive mouths or angry eyes. Are cars modeled after faces, or do we just ascribe lifelike qualities to inanimate objects when they have two potential eyes and a potential mouth? I’m not a car designer, but I’d venture to say it’s a little bit of both — and definitely the latter. Heck, people even liken center console–mounted rear air vents to faces because they’re often two circular vents above a storage compartment mouth.

I think the modern trend of adding bigger front grilles lends itself to more unintentional faces popping up in the automotive space, but it’s not a bad thing. Of course, Mazda Miatas are widely known for looking especially similar to an expressive smile, and the roadsters are celebrated for it. Sillier Miata owners are known to add fangs to their car’s grille as a Halloween costume, but I think the Nissan Cube Krom had the goofiest face. When this generation of Cube was launched, Nissan said it was intentionally styled after a bulldog wearing sunglasses.

Now, I am a lover of all dogs without a prominent snout. I grew up with pugs and I think they’re freakin’ adorable. But the Cube Krom looks like an inbred bulldog with a medically concerning underbite wearing those embarrassing shutter shades while chewing on Flavor Flav’s bedazzled jaw harp. Do I still want one? Absolutely. A manual Cube Krom on coilovers and some Techno Racing wheels would be a badass car to own and likely pretty fun to drive. I have always been the type to root for the automotive under(bite)dogs or the (very) ugly ducklings, so take this with a grain of salt I guess.

Whether you see a giant piggy-like snout that reminds you of one of the green pigs from Angry Birds, a comically serious visage that reminds you of your elementary school principal, or an inbred bulldog with a medically concerning underbite, we want to know what car you think has the goofiest face.

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