Red One is now in theaters, and puts it own unique action-comedy spin on the mythology of Christmas and its beloved guardian, Santa Claus. It’s the kind of fantastical storytelling that just might help Red One not only become another cult-classic viewing of the Holiday Season, but also a franchise-starter that opens the door to an entire mystical/mythological cinematic universe!
WARNING: SPOILERS FOLLOW
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In Red One, it’s established from the start that St. Nicholas (J.K. Simmons) is no ‘jolly fat man,’ he’s a weight-pumping, carbo-loading, humanity-loving badass force of nature. In fact, before the events of the film kick into gear (Santa getting kidnapped), much of security guard Callum Drift’s (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) job is helpign “Nick” train for the “big night.”
Santa is aided by a worforce that magically produces and distributes all the toys the kids of the world need, which are tacked by “the list,” which is depicted as a old-timey iPad with mystical swirling smoke behind the screen, filled with the names of everyone in the world. To get around the globe, Santa has twelve giant-sized Reindeer (you know the ones) who have magical antlers tha tlight up and allow them to “run” along a “road” of semi-visible light, pulling a rocket-powered steel “sled.”
One of the twists in Red One’s mythology is that Santa uses a particular superpower in his operations: Ant-Man-style size-changing powers. The ability to change his own size, or the size of other objects explains how Santa is able come in and out of houses undetected and unobstructed, and how his slay and bags can hold all the toys needed for the children of the world.
The film even goes so far as to reveal that governments of the world aid Santa with storing and launching the sled, and clearing international airspace with jet escorts. So if you’ve every wondered how Santa gets around without having to take on entire Air Force regiments – that’s how. Santa also has some kind of small-scale warp-drive capability on his sleigh, which allows him to cross large distances in an instant. Finally, the “North Pole” is actually a sophisticated modern Metropolis, with drones making deliveries and the all the tech needed for massive production and distribution operation – which is hidden from the outside world by a Wakanda-style energy shield.
Red One’s Hilarious Christmas Eve Ending Explained
At the end of Red One, director Jake Kasdan (Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle / The Next Level), actually delivers the goods: Callum and his unlikely partner, hacker Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans) manage to rescue Santa from the clutches of Gryla the Christmas Witch, but still have the ticking clock of need to pull off Santa’s Christmas deliveries.
Santa and Callum and the North Pole crew all rally and get the sleigh in the air, and Santa invites Jack and his estranged son Dylan (Wesley Kimmel) to join him on the trip. What we get is a hilarious montage sequence that sees J.K. Simmons’ Santa going house to house, town to town, city to city, shrinking and growing and delivering presents like some crazy old man parkour ninja. In between deliveries Santa refuels the 14,000,000 calories he needs to stay active, and gets ringside prizefighter care from elves while riding in the sleigh between locations.
It’s probably the most fantastical (and ridiculously satisfying) depiction of how Santa does his thing – and just one more reason that Red One has a good chance of becoming a Christmas cult-classic.
Red One is now in theaters.