Key events
RED CARD: Andersen (Fulham)
Joachim Andersen, the last man, pulls down Ollie Watkins and an initially promising afternoon for Fulham is beginning to turn seriously sour.
Ipswich 0-2 Everton. The second half has started in Suffolk.
GOAL! Southampton 2-1 Leicester (Buonanotte 65)
Facundo Buonanotte scores his third goal of the season, and Southampton’s first three-point haul of the campaign doesn’t look quite so secure now. Game on at St Mary’s.
GOAL! Celtic 2-2 Aberdeen (Shinnie 60)
Graeme Shinnie sends a deflected pearler past Kasper Schmeichel, and Aberdeen party like it’s 1985!
GOAL! Fulham 1-2 Aston Villa (Watkins 59)
Youri Tielemans whips in a corner, Ollie Watkins eyebrows home, and Andreas Pereira’s penalty miss looks super-costly now.
Manchester United 1-1 Brentford. So yes, that controversial opening goal. Here’s another / a different reason why United were so animated, courtesy of Chris Mayo: “The issue is that the goal went in way past the allotted injury time, there weren’t any further stoppages in injury time. So why the extra time?”
Manchester United 1-1 Brentford. Alejandro Garnacho, having levelled things up in short order, nearly puts the hosts in front with a determined slalom and shot. Mark Flekken is up to the task of palming it away. United in full flow and with the wind behind! That hairdryer, you see.
GOAL! Celtic 2-1 Aberdeen (Sokler 50)
The Dons aren’t finished quite yet! Slovenia striker Ester Sokler, one of two subs sent on by the visitors at half-time, doesn’t take long to make his mark at Parkhead.
GOAL! Manchester United 1-1 Brentford (Garnacho 47)
An instant response by the hosts at Old Trafford, Alejandro Garnacho sidefooting an adroit equaliser! Erik ten Hag finally getting Alex Ferguson’s old hairdryer to work?
Ipswich 0-2 Everton. It’s half-time at Portman Road, where the match was delayed for 15 minutes due to turnstile issues. As things stand, Kieran McKenna’s wait for a first Premier League victory looks likely to go on.
Half-time claret-soaked postbag. “Today’s events are United in a nutshell these days: a bleeding mess!” – Justin Kavanagh
“Of course it’s the officials’ fault for not letting De Ligt stay on the field when he was still bleeding from the side of his head, and absolutely not the fault of the other nine outfielders for not marking or challenging Pinnock at the corner” – Andy ‘Not That One’ Flintoff
“Danny Welbeck’s highest total goals in one was season was 12 in 2011-12, and since then he’s just twice reached ten. Even if he slacks off a bit, he’s on track for his best season ever. Next month he’ll turn 34 years old. He’s the fine wine of football” – Kári Tulinius
Scottish Premiership half-times.
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Celtic 2-0 Aberdeen
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Dundee United 1-1 Hibernian
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Heart of Midlothian 1-0 St Mirren
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Motherwell 0-1 Dundee
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St Johnstone 2-0 Ross County
“It’s 1-1 between Dundee United and Hibs at halftime,” begins Simon McMahon, of north-of-the-border turf-war fame. “James Humphries will be receiving a letter from my solicitor ordering him to remove his tanks from my lawn if Motherwell don’t overturn an 1-0 deficit at home to Dundee. And can’t believe I forgot about the Eric Morecombe derby where it’s, disappointingly, Forfar 0 East Fife 0.”
Humphries responds: “The dark blues are one up; ref’s their best player by a mile. This has not been a top-class half of football.”
This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Championship half-times.
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Blackburn Rovers 1-0 Swansea City
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Cardiff 5-0 Plymouth Argyle (FT)
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Luton Town 3-0 Watford (FT)
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Middlesbrough 0-2 Bristol City
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Millwall 0-0 Derby County
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Oxford United 1-1 West Bromwich Albion (FT)
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Preston North End 1-0 Coventry City (FT)
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Queens Park Rangers 1-1 Portsmouth
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Sheffield Wednesday 0-1 Burnley
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Stoke City 1-1 Norwich City
GOAL! Ipswich 0-2 Everton (Keane 40)
Michael Keane doubles Everton’s lead … not with a header, as you’d expect, but a through-the-laces whistler into the top corner!
That controversy, then, over Matthijs de Ligt’s head injury and Brentford’s subsequent goal scored in his absence. On Sky, former Premier League referee Mike Dean says: “He went off three times … first time it doesn’t work … you either keep him off a little bit longer or sub the player … there’s no fault whatsoever on the match officials … once he’s bleeding, he cannot stay on the pitch … he tried his hardest to wipe the blood on his shirt, because his shirt is red, thinking he was going to get away with it … but it was all over his face … the referee has no choice whatsoever to send him off to get treated … you can’t blame the ref … blame their medical team for not stopping the bleeding.”
Premier League half-times
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Fulham 1-1 Aston Villa
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Ipswich Town 0-1 Everton (L)
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Manchester United 0-1 Brentford
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Newcastle United 0-1 Brighton & Hove Albion
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Southampton 2-0 Leicester City
Manchester United 0-1 Brentford. While players and staff fume – Erik ten Hag is booked for telling it as he sees it – some of the United faithful boo. Old Trafford rarely turns on the manager, so most likely that’s aimed at the officials.
GOAL! Manchester United 0-1 Brentford (Pinnock 45+5)
Matthijs de Ligt, still dripping with blood, is ordered off to be patched up for a third time. In his absence, Brentford take a corner, and Ethan Pinnock crashes a header into the net. United are livid at being forced down to ten men, but with De Ligt channelling his inner Terry Butcher, it’s not clear what option the officials had.
Manchester United 0-0 Brentford. Matthijs de Ligt’s head wound splits open again, requiring more treatment. Once again he’s patched up and sent back to work. Not ideal, though, with United already missing a few of their defenders through injury. They’ll hope to patch up the Dutch international properly during the break.
Ipswich 0-1 Everton. The referee is hauled over to the screen. A quick look, and the decision is reversed. No penalty.
Ipswich 0-1 Everton. Jack Clarke is brought down by Dwight McNeil and a penalty is awarded. Or has Clarke kicked the back of McNeil’s leg? The referee has awarded a spot kick, but VAR is taking a long look.
Manchester United 0-0 Brentford. United have had a couple of extremely presentable chances, but Christian Eriksen and Alejandro Garnacho have been unable to take advantage. The story of United’s season. OK, one of the stories of United’s season.
Newcastle 0-1 Brighton. That was a big blow for the Toon, who had been on top. Moments earlier, Alexander Isak was sent scampering clear on goal, but couldn’t convert. Danny Welbeck’s response, reward for a cute one-two, was Brighton’s first whack at goal.
GOAL! Newcastle 0-1 Brighton (Welbeck 35)
It’s six in ten for former Manchester United and Arsenal striker Danny. “Am I the only United supporter who looks at Young and Welbeck in their respective line-ups and wonders hmm?” writes Su. “We’ve got rid of some better players than we currently have.”
GOAL! Ipswich 0-1 Everton (Ndiaye 17)
Iliman Ndiaye latches onto Jack Clarke’s poor clearance and the sort-of-in-form Toffees take the lead.
GOAL! Southampton 2-0 Leicester (Aribo 28)
Saints were seconds away from their first win of the Premier League season in their last home match, against Ipswich, only to be denied. They’re on course to finally making it this time, though, with Joe Aribo doubling their lead at St Mary’s. Blessed relief for Russell Martin is now within reach; Steve Cooper’s coat isn’t on a shoogly peg quite yet, but as a former Forest employee, there’s a bit of give in that fixing.
GOAL! Celtic 2-0 Aberdeen (Kyogo 27)
Kyogo, having set up Reo Hatate for the opener, makes it two in short order at Parkhead. The champions asserting themselves and no mistake!
Fulham 1-1 Aston Villa. Matty Cash handles, the ball headed onto his outstretched arm. Penalty! But when Andreas Pereira takes, Emi Martinez guesses the right way, and flops on the weak effort. Chance to retake the lead spurned by the hosts!
GOAL! Celtic 1-0 Aberdeen (Hatate 24)
Ah well, there goes the dream of a first non-Old-Firm champion since 1985.
Ipswich 0-0 Everton. Early opportunities at both ends, with Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Jack Clarke missing fine chances. File under: Worth Waiting For, Nearly.
Celtic 0-0 Aberdeen. No goals yet at Parkhead. Or in the match between Motherwell and Dundee, which is being watched by James Humphries, reporting from north of the border / performing donuts in a tank on Simon McMahon’s lawn: “Another beautiful day in Lanarkshire; ten minutes in at Fir Park and Lennon Miller has already done three impossible things. He’s gonna be a great player for Celtic one day (he said, wearily).”
Manchester United 0-0 Brentford. Matthijs de Ligt is fine to continue, despite that whack drawing plenty of blood. He’s patched and cleaned up, and away we go again.
Ipswich 0-0 Everton. The game has finally started at Portman Road.
Manchester United 0-0 Brentford. … meanwhile on the pitch, Matthijs de Ligt has taken a whack upside the head from Kevin Schade, injuring himself while making a heavy challenge. He’s currently getting it fixed by the physio as the game goes on.
Manchester United 0-0 Deptford Brentford. No sign of former Manchester United ambassador Sir Alex Ferguson in the Old Trafford stand. That’s because of a long-standing prior arrangement, according to the United PR people, who Sir Jim Ratcliffe will note are earning their money for sure this afternoon.
GOAL! Fulham 1-1 Aston Villa (Rogers 9)
An instant response from Villa. See, they’re not going down, mid-to-late-80s style. Unai Emery > Billy McNeill. QED.
GOAL! Southampton 1-0 Leicester (Archer 8)
Saints flew out of the blocks at St Mary’s, and they’ve got their reward. Russell Martin gets his, too, for recalling Cameron Archer.
GOAL! Fulham 1-0 Aston Villa (Jimenez 5)
Speaking of mid-1980s revivals, a long punt up the middle of the field is enough to do the trick for Fulham early doors. Only difference being, Villa are very unlikely to be relegated this time round.
Before Brentford score their usual early goal, let’s have a quick rummage around the pre-match postbag. “Greetings from California at sunrise! Thanks for the respite from my country’s existential dread of another Trump administration with a cracking schedule of football. I am trying to adopt a more positive attitude towards my Everton six-pointer fixture with Ipswich but my ulcer isn’t co-operating at the moment. Hopefully Pickford used up his quota of Howlers versus Greece. Come on you Blue” – Mary Waltz
“Between Brentford’s fast starts and Man Utd’s sleepy, all-sorts midfield and defense, there is about 600 ways this could go wrong from here till Wednesday! Could this be the end then, beautiful friend?” – Karen Asad
“I am VERY much looking forward to today’s action, especially THE match of the day, for once coming from north of the border, with Lord Ferg’s old club in great form and with a chance to do what Rangers have failed to do these last few seasons. But I’m also fascinated to see how the curse of Ratcliffe (see also Ineos Britannia, Ineos Grenadiers, Ineos Formula One…) plays out on the greensward this afternoon. Clearly, Brentford will score inside 2 mins and that will then be a proper test of the United crockery. Squillions of quid invested and not a single trophy to show for it. You have to admire the depth of his pockets, while wondering how much longer he will feel like dipping his hand in them. Come on you Nylons!” – Jeremy Boyce
Ipswich v Everton. There’s going to be a 15-minute delay at Portman Road. Turnstile issues, it’s reported.
It’s 3pm and whistles sound across the land. Here we go, kids!
Speaking of the old fitba, here’s Clocko’s old pal from the banks of the rolling waters of the River Tay, Simon McMahon. “Continuing the 1980s nostalgia theme, Dundee United are at Pittodrie next week, after today’s visit of Hibs to Tannadice. 40 years since this, in the same year Dundee United took a 2-0 lead to Rome in the European Cup semi finals, and the year after Aberdeen became the last side to defeat Real Madrid in a European final. How times change.”
… and seeing we’re also keeping a beady eye on the Celtic-Aberdeen clash, here’s how things stand in the Scottish Premiership. Is it possible that Jimmy Thelin will become the Alex Ferguson to Brendan Rodgers’ Davie Hay? Ewan Murray allows himself to dream a little dream before deciding naw.
There have been four early games in the Championship as well. Here are the luncheon-infused classifieds.
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Cardiff City 5-0 Plymouth Argyle
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Luton Town 3-0 Watford
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Oxford United 1-1 West Bromwich Albion
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Preston North End 1-0 Coventry City
Cardiff spring from the bottom of the table by routing the extremely hard-to-predict Plymouth Argyle. Luton also enjoy themselves with a big win, theirs coming over M1 rivals Watford. Coventry City, who in a parallel universe are the holders of the FA Cup, continue their worrying decline with defeat at Preston. And Oxford continue to go along nicely, like it was the mid-80s all over again, a late equaliser earning a point against promotion hopefuls West Brom. All of which means the table looks like this going into the 3pms …
The Premier League table. Here’s how everyone sits after Tottenham’s rout of their London rivals and ahead of the 3pms. Aston Villa, Brighton, Newcastle, Fulham and Brentford all have a chance to make some waves towards the top, but it’s down below where the real action is this afternoon, with relegation six-pointers involving Ipswich, Everton, Saints and Leicester. Manchester United meanwhile are loitering on the Purgatory Mezzanine, so expect plenty more noise coming from off-stage afterwards if they don’t pick up three points at Old Trafford.
FULL TIME: Tottenham Hotspur 4-1 West Ham United. The lunchtime match has just finished, and this time it’s been West Ham’s turn to implode in the second half. Spurs rebound from their capitulation at Brighton to move into sixth place in the Premier League … for a couple of hours at least. Ange Postecoglou’s side were full of the usual attacking verve, though the Hammers were a desperate shambles and Julen Lopetegui trotted off down the tunnel with a face on. Rob Smyth has all the details.
Celtic v Aberdeen teams
Kyogo, who replaced Adam Idah during Celtic’s 2-1 win at Ross County, does so from the start this time. Aberdeen meanwhile are unchanged; 13 wins out of 13 matches this season, you see.
Celtic: Schmeichel, Johnston, Trusty, Scales, Valle, Engels, McGregor, Hatate, Furuhashi, Kuhn, Maeda.
Subs: Sinisalo, Palma, Idah, Yang, McCowan, Bernardo, Forrest, Ralston, Welsh.
Aberdeen: Mitov, Devlin, Rubezic, Molloy, MacKenzie, Shinnie, Nilsen, Keskinen, Clarkson, McGrath, Nisbet.
Subs: Doohan, Lopes, Besuijen, Palaversa, Sokler, Morris, Milne, MacDonald, Ambrose.
Southampton v Leicester City teams
Cameron Archer replaces Ross Stewart, who went off injured during Southampton’s surprisingly resilient display at Arsenal. Leicester also make a switch in attack, calling up Bilal El Khannouss.
Southampton: Ramsdale, Sugawara, Harwood-Bellis, Bednarek, Walker-Peters, Manning, Dibling, Aribo, Downes, Fernandes, Archer.
Subs: McCarthy, Smallbone, Armstrong, Lallana, Sulemana, Taylor, Fraser, Ugochukwu, Onuachu.
Leicester City: Hermansen, Justin, Faes, Okoli, Kristiansen, Ndidi, Skipp, Buonanotte, El Khannous, Mavididi, Vardy.
Subs: Ward, Coady, Fatawu, Winks, De Cordova-Reid, Ayew, Ricardo Pereira, Soumare, Edouard.
Newcastle United v Brighton & Hove Albion teams
It’s all about the big-name strikers at St James’ Park, the spiritual home of the archetypal number nine. Alexander Isak is back for Newcastle while comeback kings Brighton, high after their 3-2 win over Spurs, welcome back Evan Ferguson.
Newcastle United: Pope, Livramento, Schar, Burn, Hall, Tonali, Guimaraes, Joelinton, Jacob Murphy, Isak, Gordon.
Subs: Vlachodimos, Barnes, Krafth, Osula, Almiron, Kelly, Willock, Longstaff, Miley.
Brighton & Hove Albion: Verbruggen, Veltman, Dunk, Igor, Kadioglu, Rutter, Baleba, Hinshelwood, Ayari, Welbeck, Ferguson.
Subs: Steele, Lamptey, Gruda, Enciso, Moder, Mitoma, Wieffer, van Hecke, Estupinan.
Manchester United v Brentford teams
Matthijs de Ligt, Lisandro Martínez and Casemiro return for United after the goalless draw at Aston Villa. Brentford are unchanged following their 5-3 rout of Wolves.
Manchester United: Onana, Dalot, de Ligt, Evans, Martinez, Casemiro, Eriksen, Garnacho, Fernandes, Rashford, Hojlund.
Subs: Bayindir, Lindelof, Mazraoui, Zirkzee, Diallo, Antony, Ugarte, Wheatley, Fletcher.
Brentford: Flekken, van den Berg, Collins, Pinnock, Ajer, Janelt, Norgaard, Mbeumo, Damsgaard, Lewis-Potter, Schade.
Subs: Roerslev, Trevitt, Konak, Meghoma, Yarmolyuk, Mee, Carvalho, Wissa, Valdimarsson.
Ipswich Town v Everton teams
Luke Woolfenden and Cameron Burgess step up for Ipswich in the wake of the 4-1 loss at West Ham. Everton also make two changes, after their goalless draw with Newcastle, Vitaly Mykolenko and Idrissa Gueye getting a start.
Ipswich Town: Muric, Woolfenden, O’Shea, Burgess, Davis, Morsy, Phillips, Burns, Hutchinson, Jack Clarke, Delap.
Subs: Walton, Harrison Clarke, Chaplin, Taylor, Ogbene, Townsend, Szmodics, Hirst, Broadhead.
Everton: Pickford, Young, Tarkowski, Keane, Mykolenko, Doucoure, Gueye, Harrison, McNeil, Ndiaye, Calvert-Lewin.
Subs: Virginia, Begovic, Patterson, Mangala, Beto, O’Brien, Coleman, Armstrong, Dixon.
Fulham v Aston Villa teams
Emile Smith Rowe returns for Fulham, who are attempting to bounce back from their brave 3-2 defeat at Manchester City. Aston Villa welcome back Diego Carlos, Amadou Onana and Jacob Ramsey, with goal machine Jhon Duran lurking on the bench, hoping to add to his season’s tally of six.
Fulham: Leno, Tete, Andersen, Bassey, Robinson, Pereira, Berge, Traore, Smith Rowe, Iwobi, Jimenez.
Subs: Benda, Reed, Wilson, Rodrigo Muniz, Cairney, Nelson, King, Sessegnon, Diop.
Aston Villa: Martinez, Cash, Diego Carlos, Torres, Digne, Onana, Tielemans, Bailey, Rogers, Ramsey, Watkins.
Subs: Gauci, Konsa, Barkley, McGinn, Duran, Buendia, Philogene-Bidace, Maatsen, Kamara.
Preamble
We chased our international pleasures here, dug our Nations League treasures there, and now we’ve broken through to the other side. The Premier League is back, baby, after its latest interminable hiatus, and while the Doors aren’t exactly a fashionable reference point these days, it was either them or the Mike Sammes Singers again. Anyway, here are the 3pm kick-offs …
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Fulham v Aston Villa
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Ipswich Town v Everton
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Manchester United v Brentford
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Newcastle United v Brighton & Hove Albion
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Southampton v Leicester City
… and in Scotland there’s the small matter of Celtic v Aberdeen, so we’ll have news of that 1980s nostalgia trip as well. We’ll post all the team news as it comes in. Forward we go.