External factors may not be what’s keeping you from reaching your goals or achieving your idea of success — rather, your mindset could be holding you back.
That’s according to Jay Shetty, a former monk turned life coach and New York Times bestselling author. In his self-help book, “Think Like a Monk,” Shetty explains that negative thoughts practically surround us. But being intentional about choosing positivity can make you happier, and more successful.
“Every day we are assaulted by negativity,” Shetty writes. “No wonder we can’t help but dish it out as well as receive it.”
Negative thoughts are more prevalent than we may think. On average, a person has 11 negative thoughts every day, including “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not good looking,” according to a January poll of over 2,000 people from StudyFinds.
Shetty says he also struggled with maintaining a positive outlook, often doubting his own abilities while criticizing those of others. For instance, he recalled a time where he engaged in negative gossip as a monk, which ultimately only made him feel worse about himself later.
“When we criticize others, we can’t help but notice the bad in ourselves too. But when we look for the good in others, we start to see the best in ourselves, too,” he writes.
Changing your mindset starts with getting rid of the three “cancers of the mind,” Shetty writes in the book:
- Comparing: Includes thoughts like “I wish I had a job like theirs” or “His business is doing way better than mine,” which can downplay your personal achievements and harm your emotional wellbeing.
- Complaining: Includes thoughts like “I don’t feel like going to work today” or “Life never goes the way I want,” which shows a lack of gratitude and absolves someone of responsibility.
- Criticizing: Includes thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not going to get a promotion,” which shows lack of self-esteem and motivation.
Whenever you’re facing an internal battle, or tempted to critique other people, Shetty recommends making the conscious choice to say something positive instead. And if you catch yourself making a negative comment, counter it with a kind one.
“I tended to focus on my mistakes without balancing them against my strengths,” he writes. “When I found myself being self-critical, I reminded myself that I, too, had positive qualities.”
This type of exercise doesn’t just improve your mental health and wellbeing — practicing positive thinking can actually lead to better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of illnesses like cancer, infections and respiratory issues, according to the Mayo Clinic.
What’s more, former president Barack Obama uses a similar tactic for remaining positive, and he advises his daughters to do the same.
“I do try to maintain some perspective,” he told comedian Hasan Minhaj in a recent YouTube video, adding that he subscribes to the mindset that things could always be worse, helping him foster a sense of gratitude.
“It can sustain your spirit,” Obama said, and Shetty agrees.
“Putting my negative qualities in context helped me recognize the same ratio in myself — that I am more good than bad,” he writes.
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