‘I’ve never experienced close friendships like this before’: how a craft night became the glue that holds a group of women together | When We’re Together

During evenings spent with her crafting group, Kate Smith has produced a host of lovely pieces: hand-embroidered bags, summer dresses, Christmas crackers and even jewellery. But the thing she’s most proud of creating is a close-knit group of friends that cherishes each other’s company.

“Some people might find close friendships like these early on in life, but I’ve never experienced it before,” says Smith, 47. “Now that I’m older, having these women around me feels even more precious. Sometimes I’ll think: ‘I really need to see them,’ so we’ll arrange a crafting evening via text. Then when I see them, I just feel better – it’s so lovely.”

The four members of the group – Smith and her friends Hannah Ratnett, Jenny Gibbons and Becs Clark – meet regularly to get crafty, taking it in turns to host at home.

“We’ll give each other a big hug when we see each other,” says Smith. “Sometimes we’ll have a lot going on at home, but at our crafting evenings we can just let it all out – we don’t have to pretend everything’s all right. I get a huge sense of relief from asking their opinion on things, and we love sharing and learning new skills together. It’s a safe space filled with lovely people, and just really therapeutic.”

Smith’s friend, Clark, says: “These women make me feel valuable and valued. We connect on a different level – I wouldn’t tell my other close friends the same things I talk to Kate, Hannah and Jenny about, because what happens at craft night stays at craft night. There’s no judgment – I can just be me.”

With children of similar ages, the four friends first met at the school gates in the village of Marshfield, Gloucestershire. “When I moved to Marshfield in 2016, I ran a shop in Bath called the Makery, selling craft materials and running in-store workshops,” says Smith. “When the four of us got chatting, it turned out they were into crafting too, and had all popped into the shop at one time or another.”

It was during the Covid lockdown in summer 2020 that Smith decided to lift her friends’ spirits by arranging their first get-together. “I put together some grazing boxes including cheese and crackers, a mini bottle of prosecco and a little crafting kit, and I dropped them off on each person’s doorstep,” says Smith. “Then I set up a video call and told everyone to log on at the same time.

“Our first project was making a woollen wreath, and the end results actually looked pretty rubbish! But it wasn’t about what we made – it was about sharing what we were going through in our lives, having a laugh, and enjoying some nice food and a drink together.

“Those craft nights became such an important part of our wellbeing,” adds Clark. “They pretty much saved my sanity during Covid, because we were able to be completely open with each other. We talked about our worries, about what we were struggling with. We cried quite a lot of the time, but we also laughed a lot – sometimes at each other’s crafting adventures.”

“Teaching Hannah how to crochet was hilarious, because she was horrific,” laughs Smith. “I don’t think she’s ever done any more than about three stitches.”

During their craft nights, the group will either work on their own projects or tackle a craft task together. “I find the process of crafting quite magical,” says Smith. “You start off with a piece of fabric or whatever it might be, and you turn it into something you can keep for ever. This year we all made a summer dress, and afterwards we turned up on the school run wearing what we’d made. It was really heartwarming.”

Everyone will bring something delicious to eat: always Clark’s famous homemade focaccia bread, sometimes chocolates or a bottle of prosecco – “I was given a box of Lily O’Brien’s chocolates for my birthday this year, so I took those to our last meet-up,” says Smith.

But although all four women love to get their craft on, the real highlight of the evening is the chance to catch up. “We’ll regularly bump into each other in the week, but it’s usually during the mad school dash,” says Smith. “We also have busy jobs, so it’s really important that we make proper time for ourselves.”

With Clark due to move back to her native New Zealand in November, the group plans to meet as regularly as they can in the run-up, and continue their meetings via video call once she’s overseas. As Christmas approaches, they’re also planning on keeping up their crafting traditions from afar.

“We usually do something festive together – one year Hannah, who is a jewellery maker, showed us how to make personalised placeholders out of silver wire, and another time we made Christmas jumpers at my workshop,” says Smith. “We also put on a secret Santa, where we make each other handmade items – last year I received a beautiful knitted shawl.

“When we get together, however that looks and whatever’s going on in our lives, it’s a huge source of comfort. Before this group, I didn’t know friendship like this existed.”

Moments to cherish
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