While there are plenty of things that I would love to improve about Georgia, all things considered, it’s a pretty great place to live. The winters are mild, the college football team is pretty good, the airport has direct flights to almost anywhere you want to go and it’s only a short drive to the mountains from Atlanta. Also, we have license plates that say CUM. Seriously.
To be clear, we’re not talking about a vanity plate that somehow slipped through the filter. In fact, if you head over to the Georgia Department of Revenue’s website, it specifically bans “Any combination of letters or numbers which are obscene according to current community standards, or which includes any reference to sex, sexual acts or body parts, or any reference to excrement or to bodily fluids.” As a bodily fluid, it shouldn’t be much of a surprise that you’re not allowed to order a vanity plate that includes the word cum.
No, Georgia’s cum plates are just good, old-fashioned, state-issued license plates. Georgia’s been issuing license plates that start with a C for years, so, given enough time, we were always going to get to that particular combination of letters. It was inevitable, so why no one thought to skip the CUM plates, I have no idea. Maybe the person in charge of such things is simply too innocent to know that there’s anything sexual about cum. Or perhaps they just thought it would be funny for some old lady to have CUM on the back of her car. It really could go either way.
As a very serious cum journalist, I, of course, reached out to the Department of Revenue for a comment on why Georgia has cum plates, but for some reason, they did not respond immediately. You’d think they’d have a pre-written reply ready to go any time someone emails them about this very important issue, but apparently not. Surely, I can’t be the only journalist asking questions about Georgia’s cum plates, right?
Don’t worry, though. Even if I’m on my own here, I promise I won’t stop until I get to the bottom of this. We deserve answers, and the state of Georgia is going to give them to us.