To avoid coming across too braggy, resist the urge to post close-ups or multiple photos of the engagement ring. “You should never talk about cost, carat size, or where the ring is from,” says Hanson. “If someone comments asking who it’s by, don’t reply [publicly]. Message them privately saying it’s from Cartier or Tiffany’s or wherever.” Here’s everything you need to know about posting your engagement photos on Instagram.
As for those who are consuming this wedding-related announcement, Hanson’s advice may be obvious, but bears repeating: “If you see an engagement post, then only comment positively even if the ring is absolutely hideous.”
How Best to Save the Date?
A save-the-date card lets guests know that they’re invited to a wedding with a date, a location, and an expectation that they will receive a formal wedding invitation shortly. Prior to finalizing a date, triple-check for any holidays, birthdays, or potential conflicts, especially if you’re considering a destination wedding; informally reach out to your friends and family to ensure the chosen date works for them, too.
“With close friends, I’d call them first and then send something in writing,” says Hanson. “A call alone isn’t enough because you don’t know what they’re doing at the time; they could be on the treadmill. A call, followed by a text or a card, is fine.”
On the timing front, Hanson recommends giving guests a year’s notice with the save the date. “If you’re getting married abroad, then the more notice the better. If you’re only getting married three miles away and your guests are local, then it’s not always necessary.”
What’s the Deal With Plus-Ones?
Following Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette tips, it’s recommended to automatically invite spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of each guest. Members of the bridal party should similarly be granted a plus-one; maintain a consistent set of criteria for the rest of the wedding guests to avoid any potential issues or misunderstandings. “It’s up to you and your judgment with plus ones,” says Hanson. “I’d say if you have met the partner, invite them. But if you haven’t, then they’re an easy cut.”
The safest route is to make the invitation crystal clear by including specific guests’ names rather than “and family.” There are cultural considerations to make, too. “Culturally that’s confusing—guests might live generationally in larger families,” Hanson says.