Intergalactic space warrior Count Binface is the brainchild of comedy writer and performer Jon Harvey. In 2017, he made his political debut as Lord Buckethead, challenging Theresa May in her Maidenhead constituency in that year’s general election. As Count Binface he ran against Boris Johnson in Uxbridge and South Ruislip two years later. In 2021, he ran for London mayor and stood again for the post this year, winning 24,260 votes and beating Britain First. He is now fighting his third general election campaign in an incumbent prime minister’s seat, taking on Rishi Sunak in Richmond and Northallerton.
When were you happiest?
Friday 7 June 2024 at 5pm local time. That’s when I secured a place on the ballot for the Richmond and Northallerton seat. And I’m not just saying that as a cynical move to weaponise this article and garner support from local constituents.
What is your greatest fear?
Poorly lit staircases.
What is your earliest memory?
Shooting negworms on Sigma III with Dad in summer holidays, when I was a tiny Binling. Happy days.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
Adele. She is a creative powerhouse and a one-woman GDP boost. Which is why I pledge to nationalise her.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Using speakerphones on public transport, which is why I will ban this practice, with offenders forced to watch a box set of The One Show.
What is your most treasured possession?
My Lovejoy box set.
What would your superpower be?
Would? Bloody cheek.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I have a bit of a complex about my handles being too big.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Toby Jones.
What scares you about getting older?
Nothing. We Recyclons age like a fine wine, not like an Apple product.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
My first ambition was to be the World Champion 3D Snooker player on Sigma IX. But then I got into intergalactic conquest and I haven’t looked back.
What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
“Count Binface, this is Boris Johnson.”
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Democracy.
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If not yourself, who would you most like to be?
Roger Federer.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
The reintroduction of Ceefax. And it will happen.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Beating the far-right Britain First party by 4,000 votes in the London mayoral election.
What keeps you awake at night?
Wondering why humans are knowingly burning their planet. Also Bullseye repeats on Challenge TV.
Would you rather have more sex, money or fame?
Yes.
How would you like to be remembered?
I have got my eye on that fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square. But if they give it to Attenborough, fair play.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Don’t sweat the small stuff. But equally, don’t say you can’t sweat at all.