Like I’d seen my idol Cindy Crawford do, I could run my fingers through my hair with ease. It’s my first memory of feeling beautiful… probably because at that point in my life, I hadn’t been exposed to forms of beauty that existed beyond my homogeneous hometown.
My routine blowouts continued through high school. Eventually, I learned how to perfect the look myself from reading magazines like Allure and studying my stylist’s technique. It was all about concentrated heat and tension and also the right brush—round, boar-bristle.
In college, most of my classmates had naturally straight or wavy hair, so to be more like them, I continued to wake up every morning at the crack of dawn to blow out my curls. I’m not sure that even my closest friends knew that my hair texture was not, in fact, straight and smooth. Then, in 2010, I read about a new temporary straightening method—a keratin treatment—and booked one for my next school break.
With keratin-treated hair, I could achieve a “perfect” blowout in 20 minutes. I vowed to never stop getting keratin, and kept that promise for over a decade, even as a move to New York City exposed me to the most beautiful people on earth with gorgeous hair across the full texture spectrum. I loved how they embraced their curls, I just didn’t feel like I could ever look that good with mine.
Fast forward to earlier this year. At 33, it’s very rare that I have the time or energy to take even 20 minutes to blowout my hair. To style my hair, I typically slick it back into a bun.
Then, in May, I watched the music video for “360” by Charli XCX. Shortly after, she released her sixth studio album, Brat—and we all know the cultural phenomenon that ensued. I was transfixed by it all—sonically, lyrically, and aesthetically. Charli—who had historically mostly worn her hair straight—was now everywhere in my feed, her dark curls tumbling around her. I loved how cool and confident she looked. What I loved even more was that her hair looked really close to my own.
“I think it took me a really long time to actually embrace my curls,” Charli told Allure last month. “In the last few years, I’ve kind of just, I don’t know, grown into it. I began to feel more confident wearing it in this natural way… I honestly just get out of the shower and let it airdry.”