Some foods are just bad to eat while driving. Anything with too much sauce immediately becomes a danger to your carpet, your steering wheel, and even your control of your motor vehicle — as one Detroit man learned earlier this week, when his choice of in-car meal led to a collision with a cop car.
A 73-year-old driver in Detroit crashed into a police car Wednesday after attempting to drive while eating chicken wings, according to the Detroit Free Press. The cop had been sitting at a red light when the wing-eater rear ended his cruiser, resulting in only minor damage to both cars.
Now, it’s entirely possible that this driver was simply distracted from the road by the deliciousness of his chicken wings — hopefully from Jacoby’s, according to resident Michigander Erin Marquis, which looks like it produces a damn good wing. It’s also possible, however, that this was a collision that stemmed from a lack of steering wheel control. It gets hard to grip that smooth leather wheel when it’s covered in equal parts Frank’s Red Hot and butter.
This accident is a good reminder of the importance of choosing a good driving food. You want something that can be eaten without sight or thought, grabbed by feel with minimal interruption from the task of driving. Chicken is a good choice, but you should go for plain, unsauced chicken nuggets over wings — they’ll keep your hands, and your interior, as free of grossness as possible. Or just don’t eat while driving and focus on the road. Michigan doesn’t even let you hold a cellphone anymore while driving and delicious saucy wings are just as distracting as texting.