From the moment you meet, you feel as though you’ve known them before. There’s an instant connection, almost as if you’ve been drawn together by an invisible force. It’s intoxicating, addictive, and all-consuming. You wonder: Is this person my soulmate? My one true love? My twin flame?
Then, suddenly, the dynamic begins to change. What goes up must come down, and the initial magic begins to fade. The arguments increase. Reconciliations are attempted, but progress isn’t made. The pattern repeats in an endless cycle that leaves you exhausted, confused, and heartbroken.
This type of relationship is what many in the New Age and metaphysical communities call a karmic relationship. These relationships are usually marked by an impossibly strong initial attraction that feels fated, but eventually becomes difficult, volatile, or—at the very least—profoundly confusing.
“When we see or experience a relationship that is intense and filled with drama, many of us will mistakenly call this love—but it’s not,” spiritual life coach Christina Lopes explains in her podcast on the subject. “Most likely, this kind of relationship is what’s known as a karmic relationship, and here’s the honest truth about them: You don’t want to stick around these relationships too long.”
But what is a karmic relationship, and are they always really that bad? Here’s everything you need to know about karmic relationships, according to psychologists and spiritual experts.
The law of karma
Though the term karmic relationship is not officially used in psychotherapy or even religion, it does have ancient spiritual roots. As you may have guessed, the term is derived from the concept of karma in Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism.
Simply put, karma is the belief that actions and behaviors have consequences—and in some Eastern religions, it is believed that those consequences will impact you not only in this life, but also in the next. Therefore, many believe that a karmic relationship is the manifestation of unfinished business from a past life—two souls who meet again to bring closure to what was previously left undone. Others believe a karmic relationship is simply about reaping what we’ve sowed. Either way, “it’s about the law of action and reaction,” explains Priscila Lima de Charbonnieres, astrologer, author, life coach, and founder of the app Soulloop. “For every action, we attract a compatible reaction, whether positive or negative.”
What is a karmic relationship?
That said, there is no precise definition of a karmic relationship—the term only became popular during the last few decades and can’t be traced to a single source. Not everyone who uses the term agrees on the precise meaning—or that all karmic relationships are even necessarily “bad.” In fact, many experts say that every relationship we have could be considered karmic. “No one enters our life by chance,” Lima de Charbonnieres says. “We attract people with compatible and complementary frequencies into our energy field. Karmic relationships are a result of the law of attraction—and every relationship has karmic elements at different levels.”