Jennifer Lopez is revealing what really happened after she and Ben Affleck called off their wedding days before it was set to take place in 2003.
“We didn’t break up right at that moment. It happened over the series of the next few months,” Lopez said in a new Apple Music interview with Zane Lowe, released on Wednesday.
“What it did was it casted doubt in me ― and both of us ― about what our relationship was and where it was going,” Lopez added. “And I knew in my heart that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life … But it didn’t feel like we were going to make it. And so, it scared me.”
Lopez said the experience was “very hard” because it involved “letting go of somebody that you truly love because you just can’t figure it out.”
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“You just don’t have the capacity and the ability at that moment, emotionally, to figure it out. We just weren’t mature enough in that way,” the “Marry Me” star said.
Lopez explained that despite their ages ― Affleck in his late 20s and Lopez in her early 30s ― they couldn’t figure out how to make their relationship work.
“We just weren’t there yet. And so, we go, ‘Oh, this is what people do, they break up when things get hard, and we’re going to go our separate ways,’” she explained. “And we went, and we both tried and found other people and had beautiful children, and had other families, and even had other relationships after that.”
Nearly two decades later, Lopez said that the two were finally in the right place to find each other.
“It wasn’t until both of us had done, I know for me, a lot of work and got into a place where I was like, ‘You know what? I’m totally good on my own,’” she said.
“I’m chill, I love my life, I have this amazing career that I’ve built for myself, I have these amazing children, I have great friends ― that’s when he showed back up,” the singer continued. “And funnily enough, he said he had had the same type of experience.”
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Lopez and Affleck first met in 2002 and later got engaged the same year. Their wedding was set to take place in September 2003, before the two released a joint statement that they were postponing their nuptials.
“Due to the excessive media attention surrounding our wedding, we have decided to postpone the date,” the two said at the time, according to People magazine.
“When we found ourselves seriously contemplating hiring three separate ‘decoy brides’ at three different locations, we realized that something was awry,” they added. “We began to feel that the spirit of what should have been the happiest day of our lives could be compromised. We felt what should have been a joyful and sacred day could be spoiled for us, our families, and our friends.”
Representatives for Lopez later announced that the couple had called off their engagement in January 2004.
Lopez was already married and divorced to Ojani Noa and Cris Judd before getting engaged to Affleck. After she and Affleck called off their wedding, she went on to marry Marc Anthony. The two had twins Max and Emme, who are now 15, before later announcing their separation in 2011.
Lopez was also briefly engaged to baseball player Alex Rodriguez, before the two called it quits in April 2021.
Affleck went on to marry actor Jennifer Garner in 2005, before the two said they were separating in 2015. They share three children: Violet, 18, Seraphina, 15, and Samuel, 11.
Two decades after their initial meeting, Lopez and Affleck later reconnected and got engaged for a second time in 2022. They tied the knot twice in two separate ceremonies the same year.
CORRECTION: A previous version of this story stated incorrectly the ages of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s children.