Born in North Lanarkshire, Ally McCoist, 62, began his professional football career with St Johnstone. He joined Sunderland in 1981, and Rangers in 1983. He holds the record for the most goals scored for Rangers, and represented Scotland 61 times. After retiring in 2001, he became a manager and a pundit for TalkSport, TNT Sport and ITV. This year he received an OBE and published Dear Scotland: On the Road With the Tartan Army. He has five children and lives with his second wife in Renfrewshire.
When were you happiest?
In the 18-yard box.
What is your greatest fear?
Not having the people I love around me.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Bad timekeeping.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Lack of acceptance of my bad timekeeping
Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?
A holiday in New York for my son Arran’s 18th.
Describe yourself in three words
Happy, loyal and late.
What makes you unhappy?
The news, sadly.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
The penalty spot on top of my head.
What scares you about getting older?
Losing the ability to get about.
Who is your celebrity crush?
Cindy Crawford.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
My ego wants Matt Damon, but realistically, Steve Coogan.
Which book are you ashamed not to have read?
To Kill a Mockingbird.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A footballer.
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What is the worst thing anyone’s ever said to you?
“You’re getting old.” My son Harris was factually correct, but I didn’t need to hear it.
Would you choose fame or anonymity?
Anonymity.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Real ale.
What was the best kiss of your life?
My mum on her deathbed two years ago. She was 95. My dad died 28 years ago.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
Not going to the World Cup in 1986 and not going to the World Cup in 1998.
How often do you have sex?
It used to be weekly and it still is – only it’s spelt differently. It’s now weakly.
What would you like to leave your children?
Happy memories.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Less rain.
What has been your closest brush with the law?
Being charged with a minor assault 40 years ago. Far too much alcohol was taken and I got involved in a fight.
What keeps you awake at night?
Nothing.
Would you rather have more sex, money or fame?
Sex.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Enjoy it.
What happens when we die?
We meet again.