38 Thoughts I Had Watching Jennifer Lopez’s ‘This Is Me…Now: A Love Story’

There really isn’t anything that Jennifer Lynn Affleck—née Jennifer Lopez, also known as J.Lo—can’t do, as fans will know from watching her 2022 documentary, Halftime. (My specific favorite part of that film is her sparkle-embellished reusable Starbucks cup that I can only assume is made from real diamonds; watch for it!) Lopez’s latest venture, though, is an hour-long music-video-slash-narrative-film that, realistically, only she could pull off. Read all my thoughts about This Is Me…Now: A Love Story below:

1. Oh, damn, we’re starting out with a whole fairy-tale motif (or, more specifically, the Puerto Rican myth of Alida and Taroo).
2. This is already more of a mood board than anything else, and I don’t hate it.
3. Not J.Lo on the back of Ben’s motorcycle!
4. Wait…is that Ben? Or just a random stand-in brunette guy?
5. “Hearts and Flowers” is bumping, and we’re in…a heart factory?
6. I like this weird banquette of hot-girl mad scientists.
7. J.Lo is sort of serving Carol Danvers from the Marvel Cinematic Universe in this tank top and sweaty, messy ponytail.
8. Oh, boy, dancers in hazmat suits.
9. Oop, it’s broken-clock hours.
10. Now J.Lo has bangs?
11. And she’s in therapy with Fat Joe?
12. Remember when we all wore little open-weave sweaters?
13. Are J.Lo and this hot guy fight dancing in an Apple store?
14. Oh, okay, it’s just a decommissioned glass box.
15. OMG, celebs!
16. Trevor Noah!
17. Keke Palmer!
18. JANE FONDA!
19. How do I get a bunch of celebrities to comprise my zodiac love council?
20. Wedding time!
21. Is that…Derek Hough?
22. Oh, damn, that was a very self-referential divorce joke.
23. We love a cake-in-the-face moment.
24. God, I miss J.Lo’s rom-com era.
25. “Being with you feels like home, but I left home for a reason.” Damn!
26. Hearing Jane Fonda say the words “Vanderpump Rules” is everything to me.
27. I like the idea that inside the mind and heart of Jennifer Lopez live a bunch of other cool celebrities giving her advice.
28. I didn’t know this, but I have always needed to see Keke Palmer holding a votive candle and saying a prayer for J.Lo’s romantic life.
29. Aw, Baby J.Lo flashback!
30. Is she…doing parkour at an AA meeting?
31. Aw, a basset hound!
32. Inner-child fight!
33. Oh, we’re back in the weird factory.
34. So much workwear.
35. How did it take me this long to notice that Trevor Noah has a snake around his neck?
36. I am not going to lie: I’m finding J.Lo’s bangs journey confusing vis-à-vis flashbacks versus the present.
37. How do I get Fat Joe to be my therapist?
38. Well, that was truly a J.Lo-sponsored fever dream, and I can really only be grateful.